Lesbians, have your babies (if you want them)!

Urgh. The conflict is a never ending stream of bile and shite. One of the latest arguments to erupt under the Gender Critical umbrella is that having children is an expression of heterosexuality. Yeah, someone actually said this to a woman who is also lesbian. As in, she was suggesting lesbians shouldn’t be wanting to have kids because it’s something that heterosexual couples do. I wtf’ed so hard I nearly gave myself whiplash.

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Is the Cult of Personality Compatible with Activism?

When it comes to social groups with a message to spread it is easy to spot those who are only out for themselves. For one, you’re likely to know exactly what they look like because there’s a shit ton of pictures of them and they’re usually quick to accept any offer of a photo op irrespective of who it’s with. Two; they will have little to no history of activity in activism or leanings toward improving social consciousness in whatever area it is they’ve wandered into. And three; It’s usually the result of an apparently radical shift in thinking which mostly occurs during a life crisis. This can be anything from job loss to divorce, kids getting older, or a partner cheating. Could be anything, but it’s always something which affects the person’s status or psyche in some way. The younger ones may have a different agenda but they’re not necessarily innocent or naive with their intentions.

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Why Don’t They Just Leave?

A recent argument saw voices at odds on the subject of transwidows. For those who haven’t heard the term before, it’s the women who were married to men who came out of the closet as ‘transgender’ later on in the marriage or relationship.

Not all trans people are abusive – that needs to be made clear here and now. However, the landscape has changed drastically over the last few years and most of those who now self-identify as ‘trans’ are no more than fetishists. I don’t want to go any further in explaining about the menz though because they’ve already had more than enough airplay in all of this. Continue reading “Why Don’t They Just Leave?”


Nope. Not a typo fer twerking. Tweaking.

Recent disappointments have led to an inevitable reexamination of focus and what role I actually want to play in the trans debate. I may, or may not, talk about the specifics of those disappointments in coming weeks but right now, my consideration has to be given to how much of my focus is given to supporting Trans-identified Males.

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Thought Experiments

I hate thought experiments and hadn’t realised they were so popular within academic philosophy. I’m not sure it would’ve been enough to put me off doing the course if I’d known beforehand, but seriously? I’m sitting here screwing up my face at the thought of listening to a bunch of grow-ups pontificating about whatever it is they think about how they think they’d act in an imaginary situation…but anyway.

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Exorcising Those Demons

A chapter on exorcism and possession in The People of the Lie had my head in a spin. I left the woo scene many moons ago and now have trouble reading any book or article which tries to explain superstition or the supernatural. Although my main gripe is that it’s littered with inconsistency and can take excessive amounts of mental effort to sift through the words. Many humans are psychologically affected by ritual. Ritual can be shown to lessen anxiety, improve performance, and help people grieve after bereavement. I’m not only speaking of the hardcore stuff such as exorcisms, weddings, and funerals but the small ones we do too. Tapping on a surface, eating a particular food and lighting candles – any of those things you do compulsively to ward off negativity or improve your luck, are rituals.

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Psychological Gargoylism – A keeper of a phrase?

I love the term psychological gargoylism which was probably coined by M.Scott Peck. It’s the only reason I’m writing any of this at all. I actually just wanted to put the term out there, the rest of this post may well be no more than window dressing.

But for now, it’s about those kids…..

Continue reading “Psychological Gargoylism – A keeper of a phrase?”

The Connection Between Evil & Self-reflection

I can’t actually remember what prompted me to re-acquaint myself with a handful of the books which influenced me emotionally or mentally during my hardcore woo years (1993-99). Back then, I had a chronic reluctance to think critically and wasn’t keen on reading anything that didn’t offer the promise of a life filled with unicorns and rainbows. I re-read the hugely successful The Road Less Traveled, (Peck, 1978) and followed it up with The People of the Lie (Peck, 1983). It is the latter which provided the fuel for this post.

Continue reading “The Connection Between Evil & Self-reflection”

A Lengthy Definition of Bullshit

This coming week sees the deadline for the consultation on reforming the GRA. The consultation in itself is a challenge because it’s using the heavily flawed GRA 2004 as a starting point. The battle for self-id is an ugly one, but to be honest, it’s easy to see how we arrived at this point when you learn that genital surgery is not a requirement for the current GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate). Swiped straight from the gov.uk website, it says you can get a GRC  if:

  • you’re 18 or over
  • you’ve been diagnosed with gender dysphoria (discomfort with your birth gender) – this is also called gender identity disorder or transsexualism
  • you’ve lived in your acquired gender for at least 2 years
  • you intend to live in your acquired gender for the rest of your life

The whole male/female thing is a way to separate the girls from the boys. The PRIMARY reason for doing this is because of the stark biological difference between the two. The biological differences are at least part of the reason there are significant protections in place for females – it’s to keep us safe. Sure, dignity plays its part too, but the bottom line is males have anatomy which can be used a weapon to harm females.


There are places where women have a right to request a female over a male. The same goes for female-only areas such as public bathrooms, hospitals wards, refuges, prisons, and sport have an exemption clause. However, this is not exactly true and the narrative says there has to be justifiable reasons for refusing access to someone with a GRC and it is generally done on a case-by-case basis. I have noted the balance is very much skewed towards the direction of the transwoman, or man if you like. So, exclusion has to be justified and safety is most definitely not paramount. There is currently no standard practice for refusing to allow anyone with a history of violence or sex offences against women and children which automatically bars a male from entering a safe space ‘as a woman’. So, whilst many are up in understandable arms about the threat which is self-id – we’ve already got a major problem where the emotional welfare of men is being prioritised over the physical safety of females. If safeguarding was a priority, those transwomen would be obligated to provide proof they were deemed safe to enter. I am aware there is much sensitivity around the issue of ‘proving identity’, but if we’re going to acknowledge safety as the priority, and not feelings, then there has to be a mechanism in place which ensures this is possible. As it stands, women have little chance to defend themselves against those already abusing the system under current legislation. If legislation were to be relaxed, it is highly likely to open the floodgates to those who are harbouring ill-intent towards women. I actually don’t care what a man wants to think he is – if he has a cock I don’t want him anywhere near the ladies, nor in refuges, nor in female prisons.


The Gender Binary Shite

One aspect of the consultation concerns the legal allocation of rights to people who identify as non-binary; let’s be honest, this IS shite. What the fuck is a non-binary and non-gender? Are these people born without any sex organs or chromosomes? Do they come from another planet? These people don’t need validation, they need therapy. Okay, I’ll humour the non-gendered, do these people REALLY want special status for defying a stereotype? A certificate of preferential treatment for not conforming to the status quo? Apart from anything else, it’s humanly impossible to be non-gendered or non-binary.  I can only assume they’re all are sat in a plastic vacuum packed bubble wearing skorts. But hang on a minute, I think they’re designed for females…what are these people wearing? Who does the hoovering? Does anyone cook or is everything ordered to take-away? Traditional roles, for the most part, are stereotypical. Most ‘roles’ played in the daily grind are assigned a gender – humans are not. Humans have a clear and definite sex – gender is the bullshit term created to categorise roles and expected behaviours. If you’re sticking ‘gender’ in your identity, please don’t try to tell me you’re not endorsing a regressive concept. Irony? That’ll be the bit where they’re all claiming to be progressive thinkers and doers.

The Birth Certificate

A birth certificate is a record of a true fact, and as its name suggests, it is a certificate of fact regarding the birth of an individual person. The fact a person can change the gender on their birth certificate does not sit comfortably with me. Again, the problem is here a refusal to acknowledge the trans status and instead forces the person into one of two boxes…but to allow the change of a birth certificate is giving the support of a blatant lie. The government should never have been complicit in such an obvious deception. Men, women and trans people should each have a fundamental right to be protected from abuse and discrimination but it’s hardly appropriate to lie on an offical document. The point here is that it’s only necessary to supply the bc when applying for other forms of id such as a passport. If you’re going to insist on changing the sex markers on documents, it’s really the passport and driving license which need attention. As someone who is trying to see the bigger picture, I have to ask why it isn’t okay to list someone as a trans woman or trans man? We can’t change biological sex and there is no real justification for the law pretending we can. Many post-op transsexuals are perfectly comfortable with the trans prefix…so why isn’t the government?

The Pronoun Police

Clamouring for the coat-tails of attention are demands for an individual to be referred to as their chosen gender, or non-gender as the case may be. Accusations of bigotry and hate are sure to follow if you refer to someone as a him because he looks like a male (because he is a male). And no, it’s not a reasonable excuse to say you didn’t know – you’re supposed to anticipate the correct chosen gender for each and every human you come across. You know, like – magically. It’s infantilism at its absolute finest. Also in human existence are those who claim one should never assume and always ask. People have already been booted off Twitter with a lifetime ban, banned from Facebook, and even reported to the police (yes, seriously) for calling cross-dressers and fetishists, men. I state it this way deliberately because the post-op transsexuals and trans women have no problem accepting they are biologically male. The ones protesting outrage at being ‘misgendered’ are, ironically, generally still in possession of a penis. The problem I have is the concept of gender reinforces regressive stereotypes. Woman and female are biological realities, not a frock to don because you feel inadequate as a feminised male. One of the problems with self-id is that it allows a male to stake a claim in womanhood based on their own personalised view of what it is to be a woman. Are we really saying that one becomes a woman through clothing, wigs, make-up, and pronouns? Sounds a tad superficial to me.


Right to Privacy

How far does an individuals right to privacy extend? Is it ever okay to lie about something which may be essential to a person receiving life-saving treatment or some other important assistance? What if a male-bodied person demands a female police officer do his cavity search? Is this appropriate? What about a male-at-birth-rapist being sent to female prison – he’s demanding to be called Monica and prances around in a dress, but he’s also still in full command of his tackle? He’s got eight years of a ten-year sentence left and his ‘condition’ has absolutely nothing to do with wanting access to women so he can rape them too. Or maybe he’s a convicted paedophile and wants to be called Karen…  I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not have to explain life-story to employers, although if safeguarding is in place I think there has to be some expectation of an intrusion into the past. Anyone who works with children and other vulnerable humans are subject to a background check, and they are also expected to provide previous names. Trans people cannot justifiably withhold this information on the grounds of privacy, surely? Uncomfortable feelings of a grown adult versus the physical safety of a vulnerable member of society?

Stonewall et al…

The most prominent LGBT charity is fully supportive of reforming the GRA to allow for self-id. Whether individuals are personally affected or not, to insist that men can become women and women can become men without so much as a shred of evidence – they’re saying that lesbians should accept males can be as much of a lesbian as themselves. I have witnessed the abuse of lesbians online for myself – being called transphobe, bigot, TERF (and yes, it is a fucking slur) and god only knows what else. Lesbians have been told to suck ladydick, pretend it’s a clit on a stick – I’ve seen enough to fill a book, never mind a blog post. There are transsexuals who have openly supported and defended lesbians as a protected class, and they too have been subjected to abuse for doing so. Pink News, a prominent LGBT newspaper, a.k.a Penis News to those familiar with its content – has regularly fed into the current trans-narrative and demonised lesbians and transsexuals who have refused to stay silent on the clear conflict of interest that self-id presents. The irony in all of this is the majority of people being protected by the ‘acceptance without exception’ policy touted by Stonewall and Pink News are actually white heterosexual males. Yeah….you can all laugh loudly now.

The Stance of Political Parties

Urgh, where do I start? Do I even bother? The Labour party is losing members due to its unconditional support of self-id. It has already let fully intact males onto all female shortlists and its representatives can be found chanting the trans women are women mantra. Many of us are now feeling politically homeless. There was a recent case involving a Student Officer for the NUS advocating for self-id and in a position to influence policy at the uni; he’d been caught with his pants down, penis out, blogging about his fascination with flashing. Many MP’s on all sides are offering unconditional support to self-id and more disturbingly, the medicalising of kids with gender dysphoria (more on that another time). The Green Party were mocked and criticised for their use of the term non-men to describe women. The Green Party is currently investigating how the father of a high-profile member was allowed to stand as his election agent after he had been arrested and charged with the rape and torture of a ten-year-old girl. Disturbingly, the father and son were both influential in helping to develop the party’s stance on self-id. It only came to light after he was sentenced to twenty years in prison; and even after the event, rather than apologise they defended the adult son. It was only after a shit-load of effort from members of the public they suspended him pending further investigation. Haven’t got anything from the Conservatives off the top of my head but I’m sure it’ll be out there. Oh, hang on, the woman pushing for self-id and leading the consultation is Penny Mordaunt – a conservative who has stated: “Trans women are women, that is the starting point”. A recent article suggests MP’s are afraid to speak openly on the subject and fear reprisals. Great; we have a major safeguarding issue and they’re acting like a bunch of cowards.

A Painful Reality

Every time, and I mean EVERY time I write something about anything connected to the trans debate, I am sidetracked into the more absurd aspects which have little to do with the core issue. It is a painful reality that the voice of the tiny minority of genuine dysphoria sufferers who choose to medically transition are being drowned out by the post-modernist bullshit of identity politics. The obsession to win the victimhood olympics has created a dialogue which doesn’t recognise the genuinely oppressed as even significant enough to be mentioned in the conversation. Those currently winning are straight white males – those same people who are said to be privileged above all others. The losers are women in general, children, and males who don’t conform to the popular male narrative of the time. A true head-fuck if ever there was one.

A Bastardisation of Language

No man should ever have a legal right to claim he is a woman. A man may feel he is a woman trapped in a man’s body, but this does not make the statement true. Women are not born in men’s bodies. This is no different than forcing people to believe woman was created after God removed a rib from Adam. Allow a man to live as a woman? Absolutely. But we’ve got a major problem in society if we think we have to legislate that a bloke can wear a dress if he feels like it – most especially if he has to pretend he’s a woman to do so. The majority (if not all) of trans-activists have no intention of having hormones or surgery to alleviate gender dysphoria. Some are no more than confused about how to present themselves to wider society, some are simply rebelling against conformity, some are hardcore fetishists, and some are so horrendously fucking misogynistic it beggars belief they’re able to think they can hide it just by slapping on a bit of lippy. Also hailing the transwomen are women mantra are women themselves, but then women have always been capable of enabling abusers. The current push to remove words such as transsexual appears to be an attempt to diminish the voice of the few who were the reason for the GRA in the first place. Transsexuals are generally the ones speaking out against self-id and they’re usually the ones who have had treatment for dysphoria. The Trans umbrella now has to encompass so many people it no longer just offers protection to those who were (or are) genuinely dysphoric. In actual fact, many transsexuals are raising concern about losing protection if self-id were to become law because they know it’s going to be abused (it already is even now) and they don’t want to be associated with predatory males.

Push to Repeal the GRA

A final note on the current legalities has to include an expression of my desire to see the GRA abandoned/abolished/repealed. This piece of legislation was created by cowards to avoid dealing with the issue of gay marriage. Whilst fully understanding the necessity for transsexuals to have protection against discrimination, there has been a clear conflation of the words sex and gender, and anything imposing on the rights of women can not ever be given as a right to transsexuals who were born male. Access to female-only spaces can only be given as a privilege, and there should be far stricter controls on who can belong to that group of privileged males – the very least of which should be full genital surgery and police background checks. You can’t widen the umbrella of what it is to be trans and then expect the general public to accept it without question. What does need to be widened is our concept of how men and women can express their personalities without being shamed. But seriously, how the fuck did they manage to pass a law which CLEARLY infringes on female rights?

Autogynephilia – An Introduction

Not long after I began researching the trans subject I came across a term I hadn’t seen before. The word is autogynephilia and it basically describes a man who gets off sexually on imagining himself as a woman. Ray Blanchard, a sexologist, coined the term and wrote about the idea there are two distinctly different groups of trans-identified males. Those two groups are crudely separated into homosexual transsexual and heterosexual fetishistic transvestites, although there are exceptions to every rule.

Main differences

Homosexual transsexuals will often display stereotypically feminine behaviour from a young age. There are considerably fewer of them who are autogynephilic – but they do exist. I’ve seen people throw stats around such as 80/20 for gay trans people not experiencing/experiencing autogynephilia and 20/80 for the straight ones. Those stats are unlikely to be accurate but they are in the sense of the majority of gay trans do not experience whereas the heterosexual ones do.

Heterosexual fetishistic transvestites are the ones I’ll be concentrating on today – they usually begin having fantasies during the teenage years. Imagining themselves as female provokes a sexual response. There is often little to no feminisation during childhood – they climb trees and do whatever else boys are supposed to do, interestingly, many of them end up in typically masculine professions. They don’t show a preference for pink and they don’t want to play with dolls. Autogynephilic males may, or may not, go through a medical transition. Research has shown that up until now, most autogynephilic males do not have surgery. Suggestions for early conditioning have been put forward as to the origins of autogynephilia; I’ll be staying away from those for the sake of simplicity, although I have included links at the end of the post if you would like more detail.

For the record: Research has found that preferences for pink, playing with dolls, being gentle – more likely to be gay than trans. In fact, and I’ll repeat this often, when a child experiences gender confusion, they are statistically more likely to grow out of it and simply be gay (male or female). Most kids with dysphoria don’t end up going through transition.

Denial from the men themselves

I soon learned not everyone agrees with Blanchard. He has received extreme criticism, as have others, for suggesting some males are wanting to be women to simply get off on it. I realise this is a simplified attitude to take but the distinction needs to be clear. Very few trans-identified males want to be seen as autogynephilic, although I have come across a handful of men who are happy to admit they’re AGP (admittedly many hide their public identity) and will talk openly about their desires and motivations with regards to wearing the female form (whether clothes or surgery). These particular men do not feel the need to lie and say they are real women. I’d suggest the reason most won’t admit to their proclivities is that they feel ashamed.

From the crow’s nest

Yeah, I’ve seen it. There are two distinctly different groups operating under what is now one umbrella. Actually, with the recent explosion with ‘trans-identifying’, you could probably add a third group to the pot – the rapid-onset types with no real previous history of identifying as trans  The latter are, more often than not, teenage girls. I’ve watched many back and forth arguments between people who are on one side or the other and unfortunately, the ones being the most demanding and unreasonable are people who would fall into the heterosexual fetishistic transvestite category.

Fake versus real?

Some people do require extensive (surgical) treatment for autogynephilia and it’s exactly the same for gender dysphoria. I’ve seen accusations of ‘not true trans’ and similar thrown about and the more balanced from both sides wouldn’t stoop so low as to say anything like that. It is similar to – not a real Christian unless, not a real witch unless, not a real man if you do/don’t do and so on. It follows the assumption that criteria to the ‘in group’ has to be restrictive (and inadvertently(?) repressive) and is usually enforced by those who are dealing with a deep split in the personality and have an immature defence mechanism. The point is trans/transition is what a person goes through to alleviate suffering, the reasons for transition among individuals within each group will be highly nuanced. I suppose if there had to be a fake trans – those would be the men demanding other people use female pronouns and see them as a real woman whilst still having a penis…and sometimes even a beard. I do wonder if it’s important to be able to distinguish between the fetishists and those who have dysphoria. I’ve certainly witnessed homosexual transsexuals attempt to distance themselves from the more aggressive representatives of the AGP’s.

But I’m not like the others…

Not everyone makes it clear whether they’re gay or straight, gender dysphoric or autogynephilic. We, as people in general, cannot be expected to know what type of tranny we are dealing with and it is both unreasonable and unacceptable to ask someone which type they are unless they’re a close personal friend or we’re getting to know them with the hope of becoming friends (or more). Being specific, the trans people causing problems are human, we cannot know what type of human we are dealing with. Some humans are complete shits – we know this. Clothes and surgery can’t change someone’s personality but there are plenty of shits who will take advantage of political correctness, social graces, and anything else they can think to take advantage of.

All normal enough…

The problem I see is we have a whole heap of people who are basically too ashamed to admit to having a sexual fetish – and that is a problem which needs addressing. The thing is, it is NEVER appropriate to expect another human to personally accommodate your sexual desire/inclination/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Plenty of us have a fetish whether it’s for feet, other body parts, shoes, rubber, the list is endless, it truly is endless. Numbers are said to be over 70%; that’s adults who have a fetish. All of it is perfectly fine between consenting adults. But it’s the consenting part which is key. No one is compelled by law to give validation to another person’s sexual inclinations. When people force their need for gratification on another person it’s usually classed as sexual assault or rape. Not sure how it’s not classed as emotional or psychological abuse for an autogynephile to demand validation from an individual if the primary motivation is sexual gratification.


After a while, we end up developing stereotypes which are supposed to be the dominant characteristics of a whole group of people. They may be accurate – as in, a group of blind people are all going to have problems with their sight to various degrees. A group of lesbians are all going to be attracted to other women. But, then you get ones which stray away from the absolutes – gay men are promiscuous, lesbians hate all men, muslims are terrorists, black men are criminals, single parents are scroungers who give birth to criminals, and so on. I can perfectly understand the stress of having to explain how you’re not a stereotypical representation of a group you’re associated with. I’ve had six kids and done a hefty stint as a single parent – too often I chose to do battle with people’s misconceptions about what I was like as a person. It’s exhausting and adds way too much pressure to what is already a heavily stressful and emotionally demanding lifestyle, and yeah, I’m gonna call it (being trans) a lifestyle for now (it’s definitely not a sexuality). The less desirable a lifestyle, the more negative stereotypes are going to be central to the social conversation. Any group can attract negative stereotypes and we need to understand that anything which relates to a sexual fetish is more likely to be weighted towards the negative. It has been suggested, wisely, the more recent push to allow the medical transition of children is an attempt to distract public attention away from the adult men who use dressing as a woman to gain sexual gratification. If we accept the narrative of being born in the wrong body it means less questioning of the reasons and intentions of the person presenting as trans.

So why the issue?

I happen to identify with people who have issues with their own identity. I would rather be able to give open support to anyone wishing to live life on their own terms, but then I’d be falling into the trap of acceptance without exception – and that is dangerous and stupid. Much depends on the individual concerned, but the bottom line has to be safety, not fairness. It is an unfortunate state of affairs that a significant number of men with autogynephilia also have other fetishes which don’t respect the boundaries of women or children. The safeguarding of women and children has to be acknowledged as THE priority here. I probably won’t be writing about that next but it does need to be mentioned now because it’s one of those bottom-line considerations. There’s a noisy group of trans-rights activists currently pushing for self-id and most, if not all of them, are classic AGP types. Again, AGP in and of itself does not correlate to an abusive personality. But, unfortunately, the ones pushing for access to female-only spaces, which are protected by law I might add, have an over-representation of AGP types. This isn’t just about changing rooms in Top Shop, it’s long-standing institutions like Girl Guides. Can you imagine the safeguarding nightmare this becomes if a sexual fetishist is allowed free access to girls under the age of fifteen? This isn’t about gender-confused children, and let’s be honest here, any parent worth their salt would NOT be so cruel to lie to their child by saying they were a ‘real’ girl or boy just because they felt they were. This issue is being pushed under the guise of saving the feelings of the children when in actual fact, it’s manipulative adults who want access to women and children to gain sexual gratification. Do I need to say it again? AGP in and of itself does not dictate the personality of the person and the good ones will most likely tell you it isn’t safe to let any old trans into female spaces…they’ll also tell you they know they’re not real women, won’t demand you use female pronouns, and they sure as fuck won’t call you names if you point out the obvious a.k.a men can’t become women, men can’t have periods, men can’t know what it feels like to be a woman, and so on.

Criticism of the establishment

There needs to be some accountability on the part of the psychologists and psychiatrists working in the field of all that is transgender. I haven’t seen many who have openly spoken about the need for caution nor the acknowledgement that AGP is even a thing…  I’ve already mentioned my own angst in regards to demonising a fetish which doesn’t seek to impose itself on the general population – and I probably can’t stress that enough. Humans are, for the most part, simple creatures – and to assume most people will be able to distinguish a predator from a regular person is short-sighted, narrow-minded, just plain-old unrealistic. You can’t put that shit on the general population and expect it to end well. Do we really think the political parties supporting self-id have safeguarding at the heart of their policies?

Bottom line

You have no idea who you’re dealing with. As humans, we have a tendency to think everyone thinks the same way, and is motivated by the same things we are ourselves – this can’t be helped. Even with training, most people will still fall into the trap of projecting their stuff onto others. If you’re not a predator, or if you’re lacking a decent dangerous person radar, you’re going to be an easy target. The people who tend to be good at spotting predators have usually suffered abuse in the past – it’s a skill that only some former victims acquire and not exactly a trophy to be proud of…especially when warnings tend to fall on deaf ears.